Some people realize they've reached adulthood when the desire to go to the mall on a Saturday is replaced with dread for walking through those teenage infested,over priced shops. Or maybe its when when they look in their grocery cart and where Twinkies,Doritos and some sort of enamel eroding citrus drink would normally be found is, bran cereal, fresh fruit and something called a kohlrabi.
For me adulthood recognition comes with the desire to be where my roots were formed. I have a longing and deep desire to be on the little rock of Newfoundland. This chunk of land is,what I consider to be,paradise!
And being 4175.3 miles away from my fathers front door,really does make it feel like an unreachable promise land.
For those of you passers by who are unfamiliar with this little land I call home, I will share with you this... google will not give you the smell of salt water and the freshest sea air. Bing can't show you the kindest hearts and generosity of any people you could ever hope to know. Food network won't have nan's recipe for homemade bread. And map quest will not highlight this area as the happiest place on earth (but it most certainly is)
I'm sure I will always have nomadic flights in my heart but the wings of my want to go home are much bigger.
You know that feeling you get when you return home for the holidays? The flutter in your heart, and that childish excitement to see aunts and uncles, and get hugs from grandparents, or mom and dad?
Well, for me, Newfoundland is the home that puts those feelings in my soul. This entire province and all of it's parts is my family. It's tranquil scenery is the old photo album. The sea salty air is comparable to Christmas cookies baking in the oven. The "caw" of the sea gulls and the waves washing up on shore, is the radio playing old tunes in the background. And Wharf,Nipper,Scoff and "ah,by" are the names of some old friends.
One day I plan to return to my little rock. And even though I am 4175.3 miles from my father's front door, Newfoundland and all it's wonderful parts is permanently in my heart.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
With every handshake, give the truth
There was an episode of The Outer Limits (many moons ago) that played out with a character, a young man,who was being punished for a minor offence. (Now I tried to google this episode but came up with nothing, so I'll give my best recollection) and for his punishment he bore a mark on his forehead, this mark told everyone he met that he was being punished and everyone he encountered was to pretend he was invisible. The people in this town were not to assist this man if he were in distress, they were not to speak to him or even make eye contact with him or they would be banished into their own lonely existence as well. Much like wearing a Scarlett letter I suppose.
I think about this episode, of what seemed like at the time, insignificant television programming, often in my life.
I wonder, what if with every person I met I wore my truth? Would they still respect me? Want to be my friend? and Would I change my feelings/opinions of others?
If we were strangers who met tomorrow and I gave you a greeting followed by;
"I curse too much. I pray to God and then question his existence. I am inpatient of others for doing things I know I've done myself."
Would you accept me and my truth?
I try to challenge myself often to offer my truth and catch myself when I'm being dishonest with myself or others. I'm one of those people who will ponder what answer you want me to give when asked a question. I suppose you could say I have a keen ability to read people and oftentimes know what they want from me and others. I've been more right than wrong when it comes to reading people and understanding their personality type.
Sometimes there are things I don't want to know about others that I am faced with anyway. But maybe there's nothing wrong with having to deal with the whole package.
No one really wants to deal with other peoples problems, and yes it would be uncomfortable to meet someone in the grocery lineup who says "Hello, I'm currently cooking the books at my place of work, I've been married four times and I hate puppies." But sometimes this would save us a lot of trouble and grief in relationships. No surprises. No skeletons in the closet. Wouldn't you love for the political party you were considering voting for to be wearing a print out of his/her truth. But maybe not so much the physician who is about to perform knee surgery whose truth is "I may have had too much to drink last night, but I got this."
I guess, my friends and passers-by, there is a reason why we are in charge of how much or how little we give.
Personally I'm going to try to give a little bit more with hopes that the soul I'm greeting is giving me the same.
Oh, and at the end of the episode, the man's punishment had ended and he was walking to a coffee shop when greeted by a woman who bore the mark of banishment and was weeping, desperate for someone to speak to her. She approached him in tears and begged him to acknowledge her. He looked her square in the eyes and said "I can see you."
I think about this episode, of what seemed like at the time, insignificant television programming, often in my life.
I wonder, what if with every person I met I wore my truth? Would they still respect me? Want to be my friend? and Would I change my feelings/opinions of others?
If we were strangers who met tomorrow and I gave you a greeting followed by;
"I curse too much. I pray to God and then question his existence. I am inpatient of others for doing things I know I've done myself."
Would you accept me and my truth?
I try to challenge myself often to offer my truth and catch myself when I'm being dishonest with myself or others. I'm one of those people who will ponder what answer you want me to give when asked a question. I suppose you could say I have a keen ability to read people and oftentimes know what they want from me and others. I've been more right than wrong when it comes to reading people and understanding their personality type.
Sometimes there are things I don't want to know about others that I am faced with anyway. But maybe there's nothing wrong with having to deal with the whole package.
No one really wants to deal with other peoples problems, and yes it would be uncomfortable to meet someone in the grocery lineup who says "Hello, I'm currently cooking the books at my place of work, I've been married four times and I hate puppies." But sometimes this would save us a lot of trouble and grief in relationships. No surprises. No skeletons in the closet. Wouldn't you love for the political party you were considering voting for to be wearing a print out of his/her truth. But maybe not so much the physician who is about to perform knee surgery whose truth is "I may have had too much to drink last night, but I got this."
I guess, my friends and passers-by, there is a reason why we are in charge of how much or how little we give.
Personally I'm going to try to give a little bit more with hopes that the soul I'm greeting is giving me the same.
Oh, and at the end of the episode, the man's punishment had ended and he was walking to a coffee shop when greeted by a woman who bore the mark of banishment and was weeping, desperate for someone to speak to her. She approached him in tears and begged him to acknowledge her. He looked her square in the eyes and said "I can see you."
Monday, October 18, 2010
Was here the whole time....
Begin a blog, dive right in and then...fall of the face of the earth! While it looks that way, I really was just out in the hall twirling my hair and shuffling my feet not knowing what I was going to say next! While I was out there, however, I made a few crafty items and got going on my ETSY shop, decorated my house to the gills for Halloween and had myself a one year older celebration!
I hope all has been right with your world! It looks as though things are remaining steadily tough out there and with the winter months setting in the blues are bound to happen. But I wish you all well and promise to return shortly with something fun and exciting to share!
Be Well
I hope all has been right with your world! It looks as though things are remaining steadily tough out there and with the winter months setting in the blues are bound to happen. But I wish you all well and promise to return shortly with something fun and exciting to share!
Be Well
Thursday, September 2, 2010
People suck...and some don't. *Inspired by the lady at walmart and my dear friend Aunnie
I felt the need, nay, the responsibility to tell you why PEOPLE SUCK...and some don't.
First of all it continues to blow my mind on a daily basis to witness people being cruel and hateful toward others, complete strangers even, for no good reason (not that a good reason would justify bad behavior but random acts of meanness are daggers of poison sent out into the universe) people swearing and swerving into you intentionally in traffic just to get ahead. Or people lying, cheating and stealing their way through life...it all baffles me. It seems like for every one kind soul you come across there's 78 mean spirited, selfish dark souls who would cut your throat for twenty bucks! Wouldn't it be nice if we lived in a world where, when the person returns the purse with all it's contents untouched it DIDN'T end up on the six o'clock news because it was just the norm to do the RIGHT thing?!
The walmart lady story:
So last week I was at the local walmart shopping for my cart full of randomness (popcorn,push pins,deodorant..the usual) and as I was standing in the school supplies isle trying to locate my much needed push pins I saw an older woman with her hair plastered to her forehead from perspiration, a devastated look on her face and the walmart employee standing next to her shrugging his shoulders and giving off a reeking aura of "I should be on break right now lady." So I smile at her because I'm sure she could feel my gaze that held longer than the glancing second, and her face brightens. She says to me, "Can I ask you a question?" the walmart employee bolts in the other direction the moment the lady looks away from him, and I said "Sure you can." She asked me if I knew what dividers were! As my mind is filled with a thousand thoughts of frustration for the young male employee who was IN CHARGE of stocking the school supplies area, and couldn't tell this woman (whose heart was heavy for other reasons, obviously) where and what DIVIDERS were...I said "I do actually." I helped her find some on the next shelf and she was thrilled! She explained to me that she was shopping for school supplies for her 12 year old special needs grandson. Being a 60-something year old lady, she was a bit out of touch with the needs of school age students and was having trouble identifying the items on her large list. So I (being in no hurry, and without perishables in the cart) walked her all around the store until her cart (and hopefully her heart) was filled with everything she needed. But the devastating part of her story was the fact that this was a low income family, the grandson had many medical bills for his disease and all of his school age years he was getting government assistance and the school supplies were being provided to him, this year, however, due to BUDGET CUTS (or presidential jets) the boy was no longer eligible for school supply assistance. BROKE MY HEART. The lady didn't ask me for twenty dollars or even any of my time, she just needed help and to get through the day. So not only did the walmart employee SUCK but the government SUCKS! Sometimes people just need little things. Not everyone is looking to get ahead of you, but maybe just along side you. For God's sake we need to do something!
My friend Aunnie:
She doesn't suck, but sometimes she meets people who suck and that sucks! But lately she's helped me out a bunch and has given me many laughs and for that I wish her a suck free life from this day forward!
And to all the other non-suckers in my life (My husband, my babies,my other MANY family members,my Amber bamm,my pup dog) Thanks for being you :D
First of all it continues to blow my mind on a daily basis to witness people being cruel and hateful toward others, complete strangers even, for no good reason (not that a good reason would justify bad behavior but random acts of meanness are daggers of poison sent out into the universe) people swearing and swerving into you intentionally in traffic just to get ahead. Or people lying, cheating and stealing their way through life...it all baffles me. It seems like for every one kind soul you come across there's 78 mean spirited, selfish dark souls who would cut your throat for twenty bucks! Wouldn't it be nice if we lived in a world where, when the person returns the purse with all it's contents untouched it DIDN'T end up on the six o'clock news because it was just the norm to do the RIGHT thing?!
The walmart lady story:
So last week I was at the local walmart shopping for my cart full of randomness (popcorn,push pins,deodorant..the usual) and as I was standing in the school supplies isle trying to locate my much needed push pins I saw an older woman with her hair plastered to her forehead from perspiration, a devastated look on her face and the walmart employee standing next to her shrugging his shoulders and giving off a reeking aura of "I should be on break right now lady." So I smile at her because I'm sure she could feel my gaze that held longer than the glancing second, and her face brightens. She says to me, "Can I ask you a question?" the walmart employee bolts in the other direction the moment the lady looks away from him, and I said "Sure you can." She asked me if I knew what dividers were! As my mind is filled with a thousand thoughts of frustration for the young male employee who was IN CHARGE of stocking the school supplies area, and couldn't tell this woman (whose heart was heavy for other reasons, obviously) where and what DIVIDERS were...I said "I do actually." I helped her find some on the next shelf and she was thrilled! She explained to me that she was shopping for school supplies for her 12 year old special needs grandson. Being a 60-something year old lady, she was a bit out of touch with the needs of school age students and was having trouble identifying the items on her large list. So I (being in no hurry, and without perishables in the cart) walked her all around the store until her cart (and hopefully her heart) was filled with everything she needed. But the devastating part of her story was the fact that this was a low income family, the grandson had many medical bills for his disease and all of his school age years he was getting government assistance and the school supplies were being provided to him, this year, however, due to BUDGET CUTS (or presidential jets) the boy was no longer eligible for school supply assistance. BROKE MY HEART. The lady didn't ask me for twenty dollars or even any of my time, she just needed help and to get through the day. So not only did the walmart employee SUCK but the government SUCKS! Sometimes people just need little things. Not everyone is looking to get ahead of you, but maybe just along side you. For God's sake we need to do something!
My friend Aunnie:
She doesn't suck, but sometimes she meets people who suck and that sucks! But lately she's helped me out a bunch and has given me many laughs and for that I wish her a suck free life from this day forward!
And to all the other non-suckers in my life (My husband, my babies,my other MANY family members,my Amber bamm,my pup dog) Thanks for being you :D
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Whirlwind
OK, so I have finally started my Etsy store!! I'm really excited and apprehensive all at the same time. I'm nervous because I've been opened for 3 days and have not made a sale, but apparently this is normal *Deep Breath. Big sigh* however I'm still going to fuss about it!
No one wants to be the first person to make a purchase from a new store (who could blame um, I could be some noncommittal, nutcase with no intentions to ship) BUT I'M NOT!! So I shall just sit and wait...and hope that some dear soul living on the edge will be brave to give me a try and find I'm good, I really am!
ALSO I have finally (I think) put an end to my short story that I am satisfied with and feel good about. I have another idea that's clouding my ability to stay with this old dusty piece of work for much longer.
So there you have it! That has been my life for the past couple of weeks. I hope to find a balance somewhere soon and get in the groove! In the meantime please visit my Etsy store and have a gander!
Be Well
http://LittleLadyIrish.etsy.com
No one wants to be the first person to make a purchase from a new store (who could blame um, I could be some noncommittal, nutcase with no intentions to ship) BUT I'M NOT!! So I shall just sit and wait...and hope that some dear soul living on the edge will be brave to give me a try and find I'm good, I really am!
ALSO I have finally (I think) put an end to my short story that I am satisfied with and feel good about. I have another idea that's clouding my ability to stay with this old dusty piece of work for much longer.
So there you have it! That has been my life for the past couple of weeks. I hope to find a balance somewhere soon and get in the groove! In the meantime please visit my Etsy store and have a gander!
Be Well
http://LittleLadyIrish.etsy.com
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Getting there
My life thus far has been a crazy tangled, matted mess that you couldn't comb through with a rake if you had hulk arms! I recognize that this has been (almost) entirely my own self-inflicted pain and punishment, and the parts that weren't... I may or may not have handled them with grace. But I've decided to no longer look to the past. I think I may be *gasp* growing up!!! Even though I'm pretty sure we spend our entire lives trying to grow up, and be a real part of the big business, I do believe I'm at a place in my life where I can take myself seriously and hopefully be taken seriously!
I feel as though my toes are curled around the edge of my life's diving board (one that I've been clinging too, white knuckled for YEARS, hearing my mother saying "But you might Drown!") and I'm about to dive in!
I'm days away from submitting my short story to a magazine that annually publishes a compilation of horror shorts! While I'm not putting all my eggs in this basket, I do anticipate some acknowledgement (even if they say "We liked it, but...) I will be proud of myself for finally taking the first step in the direction I've been hoping to grasp at my entire life.
This day and decision has come to me at the fork of a long road paved with love and loss, pain and suffering, fighting and failing, working and winning. And now thanks to the love that surrounds me outweighing the bad, I have been able to recognize what's been there all along...I have nothing to loose and EVERYTHING to gain! So here I go, I've got on my very flattering hot pink flamingo two piece, I've kicked off the flip flops and I'm diving in!
I feel as though my toes are curled around the edge of my life's diving board (one that I've been clinging too, white knuckled for YEARS, hearing my mother saying "But you might Drown!") and I'm about to dive in!
I'm days away from submitting my short story to a magazine that annually publishes a compilation of horror shorts! While I'm not putting all my eggs in this basket, I do anticipate some acknowledgement (even if they say "We liked it, but...) I will be proud of myself for finally taking the first step in the direction I've been hoping to grasp at my entire life.
This day and decision has come to me at the fork of a long road paved with love and loss, pain and suffering, fighting and failing, working and winning. And now thanks to the love that surrounds me outweighing the bad, I have been able to recognize what's been there all along...I have nothing to loose and EVERYTHING to gain! So here I go, I've got on my very flattering hot pink flamingo two piece, I've kicked off the flip flops and I'm diving in!
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Fashion is a BITCH
Beauty tips and secrets, hair styles and botox, trends and diets...all nauseate me!
How can we find our own beauty and have our own style if we must follow a paper doll cut out trend?!
America is considered the melting pot of the world, but I suppose the truth is once you've simmered at a warm 98 degrees you are then poured into a mold where you shall remain until monarchy or mutiny saves your soul!
Until then, if you can not afford a Coach purse for your daughter or Abercrombie t-shirt for your son, be forewarned that their fellow classmates feel it is their Divine right to torment, torture, and maybe even possibly bully them into an early grave! And while you send your K-mart dressed adolescents off to school which a lump in your throat and heavy heart, you best hope that, even though you're headed off to a job that doesn't pay you enough to afford your bills and insurance, you're wearing your Banana Republic suit and Jimmy Choo shoes, because (pathetically) teasing is not just for the playground!
How will we ever find our own niche when the first lady is on fashion watch and advertisements are choking us from every direction?!
I think culture is beautiful, heritage is beautiful and race is beautiful. We should all be free (this is the land of the FREE....right?) to express ourselves without judgement,whispers,slurs,and finger pointing so goddamn thick you could cut it with your designer cutlery!
Fashion and wardrobe should be a sacred, personal thing. And if it makes you feel good about yourself REGARDLESS of your shape or size, and it doesn't break any laws or damage the innocence of small children than you should wear what you damn well please.
As if this country doesn't have other things to worry about and bigger fish to fry than Heidi Montag's bad ideas and Lindsay Lohan's F-ing manicure!
I suppose, the latest trend is DUMMY DOWN! Look like a mannequin and think like one too!! You may think the Gettysburg Address is the location of the lady who takes pictures of babies and puts them in flower pots and that the Hindenburg is a hotel in New Jersey...but that's OK girlfriend cause you look DAMN GOOD!
How can we find our own beauty and have our own style if we must follow a paper doll cut out trend?!
America is considered the melting pot of the world, but I suppose the truth is once you've simmered at a warm 98 degrees you are then poured into a mold where you shall remain until monarchy or mutiny saves your soul!
Until then, if you can not afford a Coach purse for your daughter or Abercrombie t-shirt for your son, be forewarned that their fellow classmates feel it is their Divine right to torment, torture, and maybe even possibly bully them into an early grave! And while you send your K-mart dressed adolescents off to school which a lump in your throat and heavy heart, you best hope that, even though you're headed off to a job that doesn't pay you enough to afford your bills and insurance, you're wearing your Banana Republic suit and Jimmy Choo shoes, because (pathetically) teasing is not just for the playground!
How will we ever find our own niche when the first lady is on fashion watch and advertisements are choking us from every direction?!
I think culture is beautiful, heritage is beautiful and race is beautiful. We should all be free (this is the land of the FREE....right?) to express ourselves without judgement,whispers,slurs,and finger pointing so goddamn thick you could cut it with your designer cutlery!
Fashion and wardrobe should be a sacred, personal thing. And if it makes you feel good about yourself REGARDLESS of your shape or size, and it doesn't break any laws or damage the innocence of small children than you should wear what you damn well please.
As if this country doesn't have other things to worry about and bigger fish to fry than Heidi Montag's bad ideas and Lindsay Lohan's F-ing manicure!
I suppose, the latest trend is DUMMY DOWN! Look like a mannequin and think like one too!! You may think the Gettysburg Address is the location of the lady who takes pictures of babies and puts them in flower pots and that the Hindenburg is a hotel in New Jersey...but that's OK girlfriend cause you look DAMN GOOD!
Friday, July 30, 2010
Walking gets too boring when you learn how to fly...
You learned from an earlier post of mine that I suffer from a condition, Nomadic Envy! Yes, it's a very serious disease, but can be easily cured with a 17 year old RV (or VW bus), braids in your slightly unwashed hair,some beige corduroy pants and a quilt made of hemp adorned with Aztec tribal designs...oh and no mortgage.
I find my piece of solitude in wearing flip flops from the month of February to October, not agreeing to much of anything and camping during the summer. However, as of late I feel as though I'm climbing the walls with an itch I can't scratch! Maybe it's the fear of getting older (we've discussed that as well) or the fear of living a mediocre life, to land me gracefully in a coffin in about 74 average years! Now don't misunderstand, I love my family very much and appreciate my hardworking husband immensely,(I do however HATE my mortgage, paying for water and telemarketers)and I want more out of life for them as well. I have no intentions of packing up and wandering the unknown without them, but if the opportunity arose for us to be a traveling family, our bags would be packed!
Maybe my Irish heritage is to blame, or my father for allowing me to find freedom in my heart, and never putting a limit on what I could do. Whatever the reason, I desire it so... and maybe one day...who knows!
*I pity the city folk*
I find my piece of solitude in wearing flip flops from the month of February to October, not agreeing to much of anything and camping during the summer. However, as of late I feel as though I'm climbing the walls with an itch I can't scratch! Maybe it's the fear of getting older (we've discussed that as well) or the fear of living a mediocre life, to land me gracefully in a coffin in about 74 average years! Now don't misunderstand, I love my family very much and appreciate my hardworking husband immensely,(I do however HATE my mortgage, paying for water and telemarketers)and I want more out of life for them as well. I have no intentions of packing up and wandering the unknown without them, but if the opportunity arose for us to be a traveling family, our bags would be packed!
Maybe my Irish heritage is to blame, or my father for allowing me to find freedom in my heart, and never putting a limit on what I could do. Whatever the reason, I desire it so... and maybe one day...who knows!
*I pity the city folk*
Thursday, July 29, 2010
"Luke, I am your father!"
To know me and love me is to accept the fact that I....am a NERD! So when I saw that BING created a Top 5 sci-fi Movies of all time list, I immediately clicked to determine if I concur. I do not!
Here is the list as Bing sees fit:
#1. Star Wars (OK this is where I do agree, Star Wars is and always will be the greatest sci-fi movie of ALL time)
#2. 2001:A Space Odyssey (um, no. Yes this is a good film with it's scientific accuracy and dialog for its time. But I would not put this in the number 2 slot)
#3. E.T (OK, yes this deserves recognition. Probably more deserving of the number two spot than 2001.)
#4. A Clockwork Orange (WTF!? Here's Kubrick's twisted mind again, only this movie doesn't belong on this list. It belongs on the Top 5 cult movies of all time.)
#5. Blade Runner (Yes this is a GREAT movie but probably wouldn't make it onto my top 5...top 10 maybe)
So just for shits and giggles, I've compiled my own list (IF anyone cares :P)
#1. Star Wars (they are all number one to me, I have favorite scenes from each but they wouldn't be great without the entire collection)
#2. The Terminator
#3. Star Trek IV: The Journey Home (and now the current Star Trek is tied with this for the number three spot in my Top 5)
#4. Back To the Future
#5. The Fifth Element (My love for Bruce Willis squeezed Alien out of this slot)
Please feel free to leave your opinion or TOP 5 preferred list. If you think I'm a Dork and (think you) have a witty comment to attempt to ruffle my feathers, I've heard it all before but give it your best shot :p
Here is the list as Bing sees fit:
#1. Star Wars (OK this is where I do agree, Star Wars is and always will be the greatest sci-fi movie of ALL time)
#2. 2001:A Space Odyssey (um, no. Yes this is a good film with it's scientific accuracy and dialog for its time. But I would not put this in the number 2 slot)
#3. E.T (OK, yes this deserves recognition. Probably more deserving of the number two spot than 2001.)
#4. A Clockwork Orange (WTF!? Here's Kubrick's twisted mind again, only this movie doesn't belong on this list. It belongs on the Top 5 cult movies of all time.)
#5. Blade Runner (Yes this is a GREAT movie but probably wouldn't make it onto my top 5...top 10 maybe)
So just for shits and giggles, I've compiled my own list (IF anyone cares :P)
#1. Star Wars (they are all number one to me, I have favorite scenes from each but they wouldn't be great without the entire collection)
#2. The Terminator
#3. Star Trek IV: The Journey Home (and now the current Star Trek is tied with this for the number three spot in my Top 5)
#4. Back To the Future
#5. The Fifth Element (My love for Bruce Willis squeezed Alien out of this slot)
Please feel free to leave your opinion or TOP 5 preferred list. If you think I'm a Dork and (think you) have a witty comment to attempt to ruffle my feathers, I've heard it all before but give it your best shot :p
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Tip of the tongue
Alright, I'm entitled to one blog rant every once in a while, so today is my day.
I have pent up incredible amounts of frustration for myself lately. Writer's Digest (my favorite writing resource website) is holding their annual Popular Fiction short story competition and I can't for the life of me spit anything out!! The deadline is not until November, but I'm a first minute kind of gal!
For months I've felt as though I have the perfect story idea on the tip of my tongue, but as soon as I bust out that laptop, or pen and paper...I got nothin! I'm hiding my own creative writing from myself, I just know it's back there under lock and key in my imaginative mind. I feel like I'm the fool chasing a piece of paper in the wind, and when I bend down to pick it up, even foolish even to shout "Got Cha!", it's gone again!
Maybe I need to go for a drive...or a walk. Renting a cabin in the woods would be ideal but that's not an option. It's tough to capture that perfect idea in a jar and pop the lid on with Dora the Explorer blasting in your living room, a child coloring on the hardwood, a puppy tugging at your pant leg and laundry demanding to be washed...
I have determined that shouting profanities like a sailor will get you no where, neither will eating an entire pan of brownies!
What's a girl to do?
I have pent up incredible amounts of frustration for myself lately. Writer's Digest (my favorite writing resource website) is holding their annual Popular Fiction short story competition and I can't for the life of me spit anything out!! The deadline is not until November, but I'm a first minute kind of gal!
For months I've felt as though I have the perfect story idea on the tip of my tongue, but as soon as I bust out that laptop, or pen and paper...I got nothin! I'm hiding my own creative writing from myself, I just know it's back there under lock and key in my imaginative mind. I feel like I'm the fool chasing a piece of paper in the wind, and when I bend down to pick it up, even foolish even to shout "Got Cha!", it's gone again!
Maybe I need to go for a drive...or a walk. Renting a cabin in the woods would be ideal but that's not an option. It's tough to capture that perfect idea in a jar and pop the lid on with Dora the Explorer blasting in your living room, a child coloring on the hardwood, a puppy tugging at your pant leg and laundry demanding to be washed...
I have determined that shouting profanities like a sailor will get you no where, neither will eating an entire pan of brownies!
What's a girl to do?
Saturday, July 17, 2010
White Bread Wonder
As a child I (due to ignorance and/or misinformation) assumed that only smokers drank coffee, bologna was real meat, and that eating white bread was something you grew out of, like having lacy frills on the tops of your socks or using bubblegum flavored toothpaste.
However as an adult trying to choke down a perfectly good sandwich ruined by existing between two dense pieces of whole wheat, multi grain gag bread I think to my-self "I yam what I yam" and I don't give a damn if eating bread whacked with bird feed makes you a proper adult, its just turrible!
I imagine this grotesque baked good coming into existence from the fat hands of a puffy, flushed faced baker (who was told by his physician to eat better or slip into a diabetic coma) covered in flour with a crazed look in his eye, trying to decipher how he can enjoy a triple meat triple cheese deli gut bomb AND sunflower seeds, sesame seeds, pine nuts and Oates all at the same time.
I know it sounds horrendous...but how else would such a thing happen?!
Oh and if you're a 32 year old still wearing lacy frill top socks and have a squeeze tub of spongbob squarepants bubblegum flavored colgate on your bathroom counter...YOU ROCK THAT my sister/brother friend! Because I plan on eating plain ol white bread for the rest of my days!
Friday, July 16, 2010
On Writing....
So for the past three days I have been eyes, ears and nose deep inside Stephen Kings semi-autobiographical work of genius,On Writing! And if you even remotely enjoy Mr. King OR if you aspire to do anything to leave your mark in the world of writing, it would do you good to buy/borrow/rent this book. I haven't finished it just yet but feel immensely liberated and informed thus far.
My favorite thing about this book (other than the blunt hilarity) is how straight forward and to the point it is, AND the fact that Stephen King thinks it's just dandy to live and write in a plot-less world. THANK JESUS! Why don't they tell you that in creative writing 101?! I have forever been on a plot quest that I didn't want and now know, didn't need! I'm hoping (for myself) that my commitment issues will stay buried forever and the beautiful characters currently residing in my imaginative mind will SOON come to life on paper! And that my Stephenie Meyer/J.K. Rowling penis envy issues will resolve themselves upon publication of my brilliant novel (maybe one about vampires and werewolves who fly around on brooms trying to catch a girl) I will call it Twi-warts!! (I hope you, for the sake of my talent, realized immediately that was a joke) :p
*SPECIAL THANKS TO MY FRIEND AUNNIE FOR RECOMMENDING ON WRITING.*
My favorite thing about this book (other than the blunt hilarity) is how straight forward and to the point it is, AND the fact that Stephen King thinks it's just dandy to live and write in a plot-less world. THANK JESUS! Why don't they tell you that in creative writing 101?! I have forever been on a plot quest that I didn't want and now know, didn't need! I'm hoping (for myself) that my commitment issues will stay buried forever and the beautiful characters currently residing in my imaginative mind will SOON come to life on paper! And that my Stephenie Meyer/J.K. Rowling penis envy issues will resolve themselves upon publication of my brilliant novel (maybe one about vampires and werewolves who fly around on brooms trying to catch a girl) I will call it Twi-warts!! (I hope you, for the sake of my talent, realized immediately that was a joke) :p
*SPECIAL THANKS TO MY FRIEND AUNNIE FOR RECOMMENDING ON WRITING.*
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
If you don't have anything intelligent to say...
I would be full of sh*t if I told you I never take part in gossip or oogle my eyes across People magazine at the check out to catch a glimpse of Brangelia and Kpats.
However,I'm not the woman who snatches up one copy of every "scandal sheet", I don't go for coffee to "chitty chat" about who's wearing what, sleeping with whom, and driving what vehicle they can't afford. Mostly because I really don't give a damn and also because when I have taken part in the social butterfly fluttering; I feel the dark cloud of karma looming over my head, and my brain's left hemisphere crying for intelligent conversation.
If our country spent less time attempting to live vicariously through the lives of the rich and famous or worrying about what the neighbor over the fence is doing, and put that energy into something useful, imagine what we could accomplish!
Unfortunately I know a large amount of people, that if you stripped away their material items and silenced their overused tongue, there would be nothing left to them!
I'm sure the suffragettes would be ashamed of the tongues of "ladies" today!
I guess the purpose of my rant today is nothing but a puddle of hope. I hope for a brighter, more intellectual tomorrow,where women in coffee shops will discuss anti-gravity and traversable wormholes (and know what they are) while wearing flats and carrying a burlap sack in place of Louis-Gucci-Dooney-Guess!
I suppose in the meantime I shall work on me, you go work on you (if you so desire) and for the love of Christ if you do not know who the Suffragettes are LOOK THEM UP!
BE THE CHANGE YOU WISH TO SEE IN THE WORLD - MAHATMA GANDHI
However,I'm not the woman who snatches up one copy of every "scandal sheet", I don't go for coffee to "chitty chat" about who's wearing what, sleeping with whom, and driving what vehicle they can't afford. Mostly because I really don't give a damn and also because when I have taken part in the social butterfly fluttering; I feel the dark cloud of karma looming over my head, and my brain's left hemisphere crying for intelligent conversation.
If our country spent less time attempting to live vicariously through the lives of the rich and famous or worrying about what the neighbor over the fence is doing, and put that energy into something useful, imagine what we could accomplish!
Unfortunately I know a large amount of people, that if you stripped away their material items and silenced their overused tongue, there would be nothing left to them!
I'm sure the suffragettes would be ashamed of the tongues of "ladies" today!
I guess the purpose of my rant today is nothing but a puddle of hope. I hope for a brighter, more intellectual tomorrow,where women in coffee shops will discuss anti-gravity and traversable wormholes (and know what they are) while wearing flats and carrying a burlap sack in place of Louis-Gucci-Dooney-Guess!
I suppose in the meantime I shall work on me, you go work on you (if you so desire) and for the love of Christ if you do not know who the Suffragettes are LOOK THEM UP!
BE THE CHANGE YOU WISH TO SEE IN THE WORLD - MAHATMA GANDHI
Friday, July 9, 2010
Nomadic Envy
First I would like to apologize to the loyal three (and nameless readers) for my recent absenteeism. I was allowing myself a small but necessary summer vacation, basking in the scent of campfire and sleeping on mother nature's mattress, sans the Internet and Blackberry!
Which allowed me time to reflect and to peruse through the current goings on in my life. And what I boiled my raw egg down to is that I (*drum roll*) have NOMADIC ENVY!
It would be best for you to understand now there IS a difference between NOMADS and SQUATTERS! I have no desire to burn my social security card, have my fingerprints surgically removed and disappear from the face of the earth (that would be a squatter)I would however love to move to a different town, village or island once a year and experience a new way of life!
Living in the illusion that we are "free" and have "rights" is stifling me, and if they build another Wal-mart or pop up another Walgreen's is this vicinity I'm sure I will be entirely suffocated!
And while I think visiting the local theatre and not having to drive more than a half mile to purchase butter is a treat, I would immensely prefer to swim with dolphins and sleep in a hut that requires a mosquito net!
And now, allow me to clarify I AM NOT one of those people who believes everything is a conspiracy and I do not think the government has tapped my phone, I do however believe this country has too much money, too much anger, too many electronic devices and too much high fructose corn syrup!
To live with the Pygmies looks like a blessing from where I'm standing!
*NOTE: I AM WILLING TO CONSIDER ALL JOB OPPORTUNITIES AS A BLOGGING NOMAD IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO KNOWS SOMEONE!!!*
Which allowed me time to reflect and to peruse through the current goings on in my life. And what I boiled my raw egg down to is that I (*drum roll*) have NOMADIC ENVY!
It would be best for you to understand now there IS a difference between NOMADS and SQUATTERS! I have no desire to burn my social security card, have my fingerprints surgically removed and disappear from the face of the earth (that would be a squatter)I would however love to move to a different town, village or island once a year and experience a new way of life!
Living in the illusion that we are "free" and have "rights" is stifling me, and if they build another Wal-mart or pop up another Walgreen's is this vicinity I'm sure I will be entirely suffocated!
And while I think visiting the local theatre and not having to drive more than a half mile to purchase butter is a treat, I would immensely prefer to swim with dolphins and sleep in a hut that requires a mosquito net!
And now, allow me to clarify I AM NOT one of those people who believes everything is a conspiracy and I do not think the government has tapped my phone, I do however believe this country has too much money, too much anger, too many electronic devices and too much high fructose corn syrup!
To live with the Pygmies looks like a blessing from where I'm standing!
*NOTE: I AM WILLING TO CONSIDER ALL JOB OPPORTUNITIES AS A BLOGGING NOMAD IF YOU KNOW SOMEONE WHO KNOWS SOMEONE!!!*
Friday, July 2, 2010
What your music says about you
Do you ever wonder to yourself as your head bopping to Hall and Oates, driving your geo metro, dressed in all black with more holes in your face than a pin cushion, and a voodoo doll hanging from the rear view mirror, What does my music preferences say about me?!
Well I wonder this quite often, and while I don't think I've "head bopped" to Hall and Oates even once in my life, I do know this about myself...I have a vast and unusual play list on my ipod! So curiosity convinced me to google "What your music says about you" and I found a website oddly called www.outofservice.com, and they have a music personality test. After answering a handful of simple questions pertaining to my musical lifestyle and my childhood (?!) the results were in!
According to "The Do-Re-Mi's of Personality Tests" I am an introverted extrovert, who enjoys science fiction films, and believes that Independence, freedom and excitement are important aspects of life. I'm also dominate, imaginative and energetic.
Well that tells me nothing that I didn't already know and I think I'm just more confused. Maybe they should adjust their resulting comments to YOU ARE COOL OR YOU ARE NOT COOL!
I encourage you to visit this site and take your own music personality test! If nothing else it makes you seem more exciting on paper (unless you're the Hall and Oates pin cushion then...you should take a different test)
Well I wonder this quite often, and while I don't think I've "head bopped" to Hall and Oates even once in my life, I do know this about myself...I have a vast and unusual play list on my ipod! So curiosity convinced me to google "What your music says about you" and I found a website oddly called www.outofservice.com, and they have a music personality test. After answering a handful of simple questions pertaining to my musical lifestyle and my childhood (?!) the results were in!
According to "The Do-Re-Mi's of Personality Tests" I am an introverted extrovert, who enjoys science fiction films, and believes that Independence, freedom and excitement are important aspects of life. I'm also dominate, imaginative and energetic.
Well that tells me nothing that I didn't already know and I think I'm just more confused. Maybe they should adjust their resulting comments to YOU ARE COOL OR YOU ARE NOT COOL!
I encourage you to visit this site and take your own music personality test! If nothing else it makes you seem more exciting on paper (unless you're the Hall and Oates pin cushion then...you should take a different test)
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Pitchforks,Pistols = Blood, Guts GALORE!
So last night our family movie rental of choice was The Crazies!! Have you seen this delightful film yet? Well without giving too much away let me just tell you *SLIGHT SPOILER ALERT* It's about a government plane crashing out in the swamps of Black-tooth ville (that's not what they refer to the town as in the movie I can't remember the name but can recall the faces) and this plane contained a biological weapon (in liquid form) designed to render a small population dumb and defenseless (that's layman's terms) HOWEVER this plane was en rout to some other no name land when said plane crashes in this swamp, leaking this toxin into the town's water supply, not rendering the town's people dumb and defenseless, but crazed and murderous! *END SLIGHT SPOILER ALERT*
Now, this is a government plane for shit's sake you mean to tell me you don't have that extremely dangerous cargo on RADAR?! and you cant send the local sheriff a text or a tweet maybe saying...oh I don't know...DON'T DRINK THE WATER!?
What I'm getting at here passersby and loyal 3 followers (holla!) is why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we sit in front of the movie screen and spend 94 minutes of life we'll never get back, sweating, gnashing our teeth, biting our nails off up to the knuckles and clenching our jaw into the need for a dentist visit, why?! Have we become so jaded and numb that we need to see people get hacked to bits and others run for their lives (knowing damn well they ain't getting anywhere) to feel something?! I would love to know why you endure these gory and grotesque films because after I've sat through many of them I STILL haven't a clue why I do it. Thanks for your participation...I'm going to watch Finding Nemo now...
Now, this is a government plane for shit's sake you mean to tell me you don't have that extremely dangerous cargo on RADAR?! and you cant send the local sheriff a text or a tweet maybe saying...oh I don't know...DON'T DRINK THE WATER!?
What I'm getting at here passersby and loyal 3 followers (holla!) is why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we sit in front of the movie screen and spend 94 minutes of life we'll never get back, sweating, gnashing our teeth, biting our nails off up to the knuckles and clenching our jaw into the need for a dentist visit, why?! Have we become so jaded and numb that we need to see people get hacked to bits and others run for their lives (knowing damn well they ain't getting anywhere) to feel something?! I would love to know why you endure these gory and grotesque films because after I've sat through many of them I STILL haven't a clue why I do it. Thanks for your participation...I'm going to watch Finding Nemo now...
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Stephenie Meyer Penis Envy
Tonight is THE night!! And for those of you who know me at all, know I can't NOT talk about TWILIGHT! (which is why I'm probably so lovingly referred to by my husband as Twi-tard) And for those of you who DO NOT know what Twilight is than...Greetings under-rock-dwellers! I'm happy to know you're now online!
But anyway, what I'm getting at here is...what I have discovered about myself is that it's not about Jacob's rock hard abs or Edwards bedrooms eyes for me (NOT AT ALL)while I enjoy both the books and the movies, for me it's about this kick-ass idea for a story saga that I WISH were my mine! I have Stephenie Meyer penis envy (in a sense). I mean, tweens,teens, milf's (and not so milf's) flock to Twilight paraphernalia like Richard Simmons to glitter! Shit yea you bet I'm jealous I didn't write this epic series!
The books suck you in and make you feel like you are part of each spell-binding moment, and the movies are a terrific visual of what you imagined while reading the books. Look at us for %$@#&* sake, half of America right now is lapping this stuff up like a Saint Bernard at the end of a hose on the fourth of July in Phoenix! And miss Stephenie Meyer is laughing it up all the way to the bank!! Well I say good for her!!.....But the next one is MINE!
Monday, June 28, 2010
Retirement = Adult diapers and pills crushed up in apple sauce
Ok, so part of getting to know me is understanding that my greatest fears are;
a)That I will never publish a novel to support my family comfortably forever! and
b)That I will never win the lottery to support my family comfortably forever!
The thought of myself and my family having to "work for the man" until we're old and arthritic terrifies me more than heights, spiders, airplane rides and carnies combined!
We all know that aging is not a beautiful or graceful process.(No it's really not)
Now I'm not talking about the joys of life, getting wiser, having a family,blah, blah,blah. I'm talking about what happens to your darling anatomy and physiology as it plummets forward into senior citizenship!! I know I don't have to supply you with the graphic mental images of saggy body parts, arthritic fingers and suddenly foul smelling what-nots, so I'll just skip to the part where I ask you to imagine all that "good ol stuff" crammed into a bikini/swimming trunks with pineapples on them on the deck of a delightful cruise ship off the coast of paradise....ahhh. Does that sound awesome to you??!! HELL NO!!
Now I mean no disrespect to the elderly (we're all gonna be there *shiver* one day) I just think retirement should be enjoyed in your fifties when you still walk upright and can chew solid food!
I'm not saying these things because I think I'm above hard work either, that's totally not the case. I just think working from dawn till dark, eating dinner with your family moments before crawling into bed, and being unable to take a vacation without the beeper, pager, laptop, cell phone and day planner is devastating!
My heart breaks for those old people who have to work as Wal-mart *shiver* greeters and every time I see that dear old lady at the checkout who calls my son a girl because he has shaggy hair and looks at me cock-eyed to try to get a rise out of a young mother for allowing her son a "booga-lou" haircut, and on the days I don't want to face plant her into the scanner and defy the money-back guarantee of polygrip, my heart really does break for her. Why? because it's proof in the (saggy,yellowish) flesh that America sucks the life out of you, robs you blind (if you aren't cataract ridden already) and leaves you for dead!!!
a)That I will never publish a novel to support my family comfortably forever! and
b)That I will never win the lottery to support my family comfortably forever!
The thought of myself and my family having to "work for the man" until we're old and arthritic terrifies me more than heights, spiders, airplane rides and carnies combined!
We all know that aging is not a beautiful or graceful process.(No it's really not)
Now I'm not talking about the joys of life, getting wiser, having a family,blah, blah,blah. I'm talking about what happens to your darling anatomy and physiology as it plummets forward into senior citizenship!! I know I don't have to supply you with the graphic mental images of saggy body parts, arthritic fingers and suddenly foul smelling what-nots, so I'll just skip to the part where I ask you to imagine all that "good ol stuff" crammed into a bikini/swimming trunks with pineapples on them on the deck of a delightful cruise ship off the coast of paradise....ahhh. Does that sound awesome to you??!! HELL NO!!
Now I mean no disrespect to the elderly (we're all gonna be there *shiver* one day) I just think retirement should be enjoyed in your fifties when you still walk upright and can chew solid food!
I'm not saying these things because I think I'm above hard work either, that's totally not the case. I just think working from dawn till dark, eating dinner with your family moments before crawling into bed, and being unable to take a vacation without the beeper, pager, laptop, cell phone and day planner is devastating!
My heart breaks for those old people who have to work as Wal-mart *shiver* greeters and every time I see that dear old lady at the checkout who calls my son a girl because he has shaggy hair and looks at me cock-eyed to try to get a rise out of a young mother for allowing her son a "booga-lou" haircut, and on the days I don't want to face plant her into the scanner and defy the money-back guarantee of polygrip, my heart really does break for her. Why? because it's proof in the (saggy,yellowish) flesh that America sucks the life out of you, robs you blind (if you aren't cataract ridden already) and leaves you for dead!!!
Do you eat beaver?
So I think we're all comfortable with and feel it safe to say the reason we so dearly love MySpace, desire the friend total to climb on Facebook, and can't miss one ever-loving tweet on Twitter, is because....WE ARE ALL SO FRIGGIN NOSEY!!
No....not you...? Rrrright ok.
But despite how far we have traveled in the world of technology, and despite the fact that we can sit in our underpants, covered in cheeto dust and toothpaste on our zits, getting an eye full of cousin Maggie's vacation to Europe and "that guy" she took with her...not you again?! Mmm hmm....anyway. Despite all that,we still are forced to communicate in a semi-civilized manor, face to face with our human (and animal) co-existers.
Now, I'm not talking about dear aunt Gracie, who always smells like cookies and talks in a whisper, no she's bearable. I'm talking about the woman in front of me at the grocery store just recently wearing a white tank top and black bra underneath, the woman who thinks because she "accidentally" placed her aluminum foil over that little plastic barrier that clearly states MY SHIT, YOUR SHIT, and now that she's paid and escaped capture, and the cashier has swiftly swiped it over the scanner now that its my turn,that I should just go ahead and pay for the foil and GIVE IT TO HER??!! well I'm sorry LADY but the four boxes of wine, three bags of pork rinds and carton of cigarettes in your cart tells me you can AFFORD your aluminum foil! It's times like these where you would just tweet your face off at that miserable &*%!#, but in polite society that's just not right. (or at least for most non "diagnosed" capable people)
But I've taken you this far to tell you the most memorable "Wish I had a backspace button" story of my life, The DO YOU EAT BEAVER story.
I am a certified Medical Assistant and up until just recently worked in a medical office, where drug reps and pill pushers swoop in and out on a daily basis hoping the good doctors will prescribe their brand of boner and or blood pressure lowering medication. One fine day, a very nice young man who was stumbling and stuttering his way through his first day on the job, tried to strike up polite conversation with me. He shyly explained to me it was his first day and he was very nervous, he told me he just recently moved from Seattle to obtain this job and then proceeded to ask me where I was from, "Canada" I exclaimed proudly, to which the young man replied, "Oh Canada, wow...Do you eat beaver?!"
Now, my life has been blessed with and over-populated by MEN, witty, vulgar men, so my face didn't turn twelve shades of red like this poor young man's nor did I begin to perspire buckets of sweat, I just allowed him time to acclimate to the situation and room to realize he just asked a young (STRANGER) female, if she ATE BEAVER! Control. ALT. Delete?? Not this time my friend.
No....not you...? Rrrright ok.
But despite how far we have traveled in the world of technology, and despite the fact that we can sit in our underpants, covered in cheeto dust and toothpaste on our zits, getting an eye full of cousin Maggie's vacation to Europe and "that guy" she took with her...not you again?! Mmm hmm....anyway. Despite all that,we still are forced to communicate in a semi-civilized manor, face to face with our human (and animal) co-existers.
Now, I'm not talking about dear aunt Gracie, who always smells like cookies and talks in a whisper, no she's bearable. I'm talking about the woman in front of me at the grocery store just recently wearing a white tank top and black bra underneath, the woman who thinks because she "accidentally" placed her aluminum foil over that little plastic barrier that clearly states MY SHIT, YOUR SHIT, and now that she's paid and escaped capture, and the cashier has swiftly swiped it over the scanner now that its my turn,that I should just go ahead and pay for the foil and GIVE IT TO HER??!! well I'm sorry LADY but the four boxes of wine, three bags of pork rinds and carton of cigarettes in your cart tells me you can AFFORD your aluminum foil! It's times like these where you would just tweet your face off at that miserable &*%!#, but in polite society that's just not right. (or at least for most non "diagnosed" capable people)
But I've taken you this far to tell you the most memorable "Wish I had a backspace button" story of my life, The DO YOU EAT BEAVER story.
I am a certified Medical Assistant and up until just recently worked in a medical office, where drug reps and pill pushers swoop in and out on a daily basis hoping the good doctors will prescribe their brand of boner and or blood pressure lowering medication. One fine day, a very nice young man who was stumbling and stuttering his way through his first day on the job, tried to strike up polite conversation with me. He shyly explained to me it was his first day and he was very nervous, he told me he just recently moved from Seattle to obtain this job and then proceeded to ask me where I was from, "Canada" I exclaimed proudly, to which the young man replied, "Oh Canada, wow...Do you eat beaver?!"
Now, my life has been blessed with and over-populated by MEN, witty, vulgar men, so my face didn't turn twelve shades of red like this poor young man's nor did I begin to perspire buckets of sweat, I just allowed him time to acclimate to the situation and room to realize he just asked a young (STRANGER) female, if she ATE BEAVER! Control. ALT. Delete?? Not this time my friend.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Greetings and Salutations
Hello Friends and Potential Friends,
I'm very excited about this blog! I think I've finally reached the perfect place in my life where I can stay committed to writing and sharing everyday. Yes I will be honest, this is my third attempt *gasp* at becoming a member of blog world! It chokes me to say I HAVE COMMITMENT ISSUES (no, you should not just stop reading now, I'm in remission!)
It has always been my passion to write, to entertain and share stories of this bizarre,conundrum of events we call life, with people like you!
So,it is my great hope that you will visit again! and please leave your blog information I would LOVE to follow you on your great journeys also!
Be Well
I'm very excited about this blog! I think I've finally reached the perfect place in my life where I can stay committed to writing and sharing everyday. Yes I will be honest, this is my third attempt *gasp* at becoming a member of blog world! It chokes me to say I HAVE COMMITMENT ISSUES (no, you should not just stop reading now, I'm in remission!)
It has always been my passion to write, to entertain and share stories of this bizarre,conundrum of events we call life, with people like you!
So,it is my great hope that you will visit again! and please leave your blog information I would LOVE to follow you on your great journeys also!
Be Well
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