Retirement = Adult diapers and pills crushed up in apple sauce

Ok, so part of getting to know me is understanding that my greatest fears are;
a)That I will never publish a novel to support my family comfortably forever! and
b)That I will never win the lottery to support my family comfortably forever!
The thought of myself and my family having to "work for the man" until we're old and arthritic terrifies me more than heights, spiders, airplane rides and carnies combined!

We all know that aging is not a beautiful or graceful process.(No it's really not)
Now I'm not talking about the joys of life, getting wiser, having a family,blah, blah,blah. I'm talking about what happens to your darling anatomy and physiology as it plummets forward into senior citizenship!! I know I don't have to supply you with the graphic mental images of saggy body parts, arthritic fingers and suddenly foul smelling what-nots, so I'll just skip to the part where I ask you to imagine all that "good ol stuff" crammed into a bikini/swimming trunks with pineapples on them on the deck of a delightful cruise ship off the coast of paradise....ahhh. Does that sound awesome to you??!! HELL NO!!
Now I mean no disrespect to the elderly (we're all gonna be there *shiver* one day) I just think retirement should be enjoyed in your fifties when you still walk upright and can chew solid food!
I'm not saying these things because I think I'm above hard work either, that's totally not the case. I just think working from dawn till dark, eating dinner with your family moments before crawling into bed, and being unable to take a vacation without the beeper, pager, laptop, cell phone and day planner is devastating!

My heart breaks for those old people who have to work as Wal-mart *shiver* greeters and every time I see that dear old lady at the checkout who calls my son a girl because he has shaggy hair and looks at me cock-eyed to try to get a rise out of a young mother for allowing her son a "booga-lou" haircut, and on the days I don't want to face plant her into the scanner and defy the money-back guarantee of polygrip, my heart really does break for her. Why? because it's proof in the (saggy,yellowish) flesh that America sucks the life out of you, robs you blind (if you aren't cataract ridden already) and leaves you for dead!!!